I can’t remember hearing Whitney for the first time.

Instead, my little mind always travels back to sitting on the floor of our family room, looking across to the pile of vinyl leaning against the wall next to the stereo system, where Whitney’s orange self-titled debut returned my gaze.

Back then, the close-shaven Black woman was an archetype driven by Grace Jones—the fierce warrior, the brash and bold androgyne. But on that cover, Whitney’s portrait almost radiated more softness and femininity because her hair wasn’t in the way. I was transfixed. I wanted to hear everything that came out of the mouth of this gorgeous woman who defied… well, everything. Gender norms, beauty standards, genres—everything was shattered in Whitney’s presence.

And her music was the ultimate unifier in our family too. I struggled with which of all of her moving, exciting and heartfelt songs most had a place here. Because if anything, Whitney Houston was emotion personified. When she sang, you believed every word of her joy, her passion, and her tender, broken heart. So how would I choose a single song when there was a moment and a feeling I could associate with so many?

After going over her catalog a few times, “Saving All My Love” felt most like OUR song, the one on Daddy’s copy of Whitney’s album where his ladies could really shine. I’d written it down but was still wavering before I ventured out for an evening on COVID-affected Bourbon Street in New Orleans. The rest, I’ll take from what I wrote that night:

“One of my LAST stops in the Quarter was at the corner of Bourbon and Bienville. A sport-coated brass player sat there on a folding chair busking. Pretty typical for Bourbon most nights, but “in these unprecedented times,” he was the only one I saw outside of Jackson Square, so I stopped mostly to get my bearings again for a second, but also because the sight and sound of him made my spirit glad. He came to the end of his song not too long after I got settled, and when he put his horn back to his lips, I felt the wind knocked out of me. Of all the songs in the world, he started playing [this] one.”

I could spend a lifetime listing off the things that I’m glad to have received from my Daddy. But there’s one in particular I’m eternally grateful for: his gift of music that worked its way deep into my soul and carved out space to carry his love with me forever.

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